I’m beginning to realize most of the things in going on revolve around my confidence or the lack there of and my journey to find it. See at one point in the not to far past I had this idea that I was 6 foot 2, built of twisted steel and sex appeal. Now as I move through this ordeal I feel like I’m 5 foot 7 and little overweight! Also I’m a glass half full kind of person but lately life seems to half empty.
Have you ever had a weekend where so much happened, that you did so many things, that by the time Sunday comes around, you feel like you partied like a rock star, and you’re not sure you were supposed to? This is where I’m starting this portion of the blog 2 in my on-going saga of single life. If anyone wants to know where it ends, just read about the “gay couple” in my first blog post. Out of order but I’m not sure anyone would have believed me if I had started chronologically.
Let’s start with the “woe-is-me” attitude I had. It’s Thursday night and I’m thinking of the upcoming weekend. My kids are away with their mom. It’s the first vacation they have taken without me. My 14 year old Labrador is having so many medical problems that the vet and I have found the only solution is to have her euthanized, and the upcoming Saturday is the anniversary of day I wish I could forget! So just before bed on Thursday I recap the weekend ahead of me, 1st thing Friday, kill my dog, Hate Saturday, Sunday…who cares!! Sounds fun doesn’t it? Well for a weekend like that I decided to call in reinforcement, it was time to hang with my friend, who can clearly see I’m close to a funk. I needed a break from reality and something to kick start my emotional rebuild! Enter “The Dude”.
The Dude says simply “remember sometimes you have to run before you can walk.” I give him a “Your Stupid” look, you know the one, one eyebrow up, one corner of the mouth turned down, screaming sarcasm…. and I try to remember the movie he must be referencing. He doesn’t explain, but after all he is the Dude and the Dude abides! (“The Big Lebowski”, 1998). So my weekend actually begins Thursday night. We hit a hit a few local pubs and suddenly Dude decides to contact The Professional, the Chaz Reinhold of the area. I’m still confused and I get the speech. “Hey man, we’re going to meet the professional tonight, its all good, just relax and go with it, he can be over the top, but it will be a blast.” Hmmm….famous last words I’m thinking. We pick up the professional and O.T.B. (Over The Bridge) we go, apparently there was “Black Light Party” at a local Lumber Yard (code word for strip club, shhh!). I have no idea what kind of party I’m headed to but the professional says its fun. Now the professional had some pull (no pun intended) at the Lumber Yard and I felt better having helped several nice 20 something girls earn extra cash for college. People helping people, always a pick me up J From there the professional and I decided Taco Bell was in order. So The Dude abided, but had a rule about NOT eating it in his $40k Camaro. Although apparently he didn’t like us using the trunk of his car as a coffee table either. I mean really, the scratches buffed out!! I was left in my front yard at 4 AM.
Not much to say about Friday morning other than it started way to early and was a big downer, so lets fast forward to about 11AM. I crack my first BLL (Bud Light Lime), don’t judge, I had to put down my 14 year old dog! The Dude and I head to the boat to see if we can empty the never ending supply of beer. As the evening approaches we decide to go Collar Poppin’. Oddly enough I feel tired and fall asleep at the rally point. I was promptly made fun of by my ODP’s wife. Not cool to have a 100 pound chick call you a light weight that stayed out past your bedtime. I didn’t recover; Dude dropped me off at home, and continued to the festivities. I made up for it on Saturday.
We started once again on the boat, and yes we tried to empty that fridge but to no avail! Now if you remember I hated this particular Saturday. Although it was filled with parades, fireworks, a car show, carnival, and street vendors serving food that tastes like heaven going and feel like hell going out! We take the boat to a local boat friendly pub. Once here I realize that I do not have 6 pack abs, nor a dragon tattoo, which set me apart. I found a bachelorette party, I have a knack for those! I begin to Ice-break and low and behold contact is made. The Dude assists me, and by that I mean, I tell these lovely woman that the 38 foot boat , moored up by the beach, is mine and he doesn’t correct me. Numbers are exchanged, The Dude, now the guy that Captains my boat, and I leave as we have evening plans to prepare for.
Once back at the dock we scrub and clean the boat, as we have to attractive ladies we are going to woo by watching the fireworks under the stars, on the boat. As the clock ticks on I start to think that we don’t have anything to offer the ladies that are joining us soon. Dude agrees but we don’t have time to recover, we decide beer and wine is plenty. As we decide this I look up the dock and see that the gods have had mercy on us. Approaching us are 6 woman, in their late 40’s to early 50’s, with a large try of freshly cooked fish, grilled vegetables, and a mango chutney sauce. As I’m the Ice-breaker, I break the ice. “I begin to tell them how lovely they are and ask why that many beautiful woman aren’t being chased by young men. They stop, curiosity and compliments have them temporarily stunned. The Dude swoops in with his own version of charm and we begin to ask about the meal they have. They offer us a large portion and they walk on to their boat, hoping we will let them know how the meal was once all the flavors melted together. No sooner do they walk away, our friends show up. We show them our wine, beer and the wonderful fresh grilled fish, vegetables, with the homemade mango chutney sauce. We never say we made it, but we might have implied we did. As we cast off and begin our journey to the bay we pass the woman on their boat. The marine radio jumps to life, “Hey how did you like my snapper?” one of them says. The Dude, sharp as ever replies “we’re not sure yet, but we can’t wait to eat yours!” We then retell the story to our friends. By nights end, I had overcome my hatred of that particular day, gone was the angry thought, replaced by memories of a bachelorette party, free snapper, 2 lovely ladies, and night time swim.
As the weekend wound down and Sunday finally came around I was tired. My liver hated me, my head hated me, but my emotional state…it was doing better. I felt like the roller coaster that had been the previous 3 months was finally starting to climb up a hill instead of through another valley. The Dude and I sat on the boat, enjoying the “hair of the dog that bit us” in the hopes of recovering quicker. In the haze of the previous 3 days I saw a woman with a golden retriever….
And like I said once I was grounded I was open to listen to the simple wisdom of my Russian friend “You were not dumped, thrown out, nor replaced. You were set free.” On Thursday, Friday and Saturday I ran before I walked. On Sunday I realized, not that I needed to walk, but that in spite of everything that was going on, that I could walk, and could do it alone! The Dude abides and so does the Ice-breaker!
Ice-Breaker out!
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