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I was recently set free by an amazing woman who gave me 3 beautiful children. At the ripe age of 37 years old I am currently learning about dating, in the 2011's. So much has changed and my old ways seems rusty at best, and to be honest, they were never all that good :-)But here I am, making my way.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Blog #3: “This!” And the Circle of Friends

Now prior to this juncture in the story of me, I have avoided most references to my spouse. It’s not that I’m erasing her from my life, which I can’t do for lots of reason, nor am I avoiding talking about the “Ex”. It’s that my story isn’t about her but rather about how I have dealt with the changes in my life. But this wouldn’t be an accurate portrait of my re-entry to dating without her involvement.  My belief is simple, once the marriage was over, I no longer felt the right to question her dating choices and I expected the same from her.

I have since learned that this was really not the case. That once you were with a particular woman she has “previous ownership” rights over you for an unreasonable time frame. I learned of this after I began dating a nice, attractive, woman with a great personality. We hit it off and never seemed to have a bad time together. It was clear though, that I wasn’t her usual type, although I was active, I don’t have six pack abs. But what I don’t have in appearance I make up for in personality. I know what you’re thinking; if he is saying personality he must be 4 foot 1, with leprosy and 6 toes, but you’d be wrong. I’m your average Joe with better than average sense of humor. I like to tell people that I don’t have a six pack of abs so that woman know I’m straight! The reason I came to know I’m her usual is the funny part. See I kissed her and I could tell she enjoyed it, hell we both did. Then she said “I can’t figure out why I’m so turned on by”…(motions with her hands, from her shoulders downward to my legs as she says)…”this!” LMFAO! That’s a confidence booster! I think it was more her tone and inflection, the subtle, surprised, verbal nuance used on the word “this”, that really made me step back. But let’s not dwell on that part of the story; let’s move onto the other side of this story.

Now after that story you may ask, what does ‘This’ have to do with your “circle of friends” or the term “previous ownership” , well lots and almost nothing to do with my Ex, I just thought I should mention her now and do some follow up’s in future blogs. Anyway as “This” and I moved forward I received a heated telephone call from a ghost of GF past, like way past, like 15 years ago. The content of the conversation was clear. ‘This” was friends and GF Past and I could not be in her…here we go….Circle of Friends...I was to stop the relationship with ‘This’ immediately. Now it was mildly annoyed, until….The Dude went on a date with a woman from about 50 miles away from our area. While on this date he ran into someone who was friends of a Ghost of GF past as well. Within 2 days he received a heated telephone call and guess what….Circle of Friends was the gist of his conversation as well.

So let’s recap and try to learn something important from these events as the unfolded around me and my friend. First off, previous ownership is an annoying catalyst for drama brought on my ghosts of GF’s past. But because ghost’s don’t exist we don’t care. So basically I told a story that was funny and useless all at the same time. Secondly, and most important, we found that Icebreaking isn’t about skill, or looks, it’s about capitalizing on most woman’s innate politeness. To modify the saying from the movie “Field of Dreams” - If you talk to them, they will listen…for a minute anyway. If you use that time wisely it could turn into something like “THIS!”

Icebreaker out!

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